been offline for some time sooo....
I intend to open this country up to democracy, and anyone who is against that, I will jail.
- General Joao Baptista Figueiredo, president - Brazil, 1979
Ball handling and dribbling are my strongest weaknesses.
- David Thompson, Denver Nuggets player
I'm not a snob. Ask anybody. Well, anybody who matters.
- rock star Simon LeBon of Duran Duran
Send all the details. Never mind the facts.
- telegram from the editor of the old New York World to his Washington correspondent
That is true -- but not absolutely true.
- Montreal mayor Jean Drapeau
I have not reneged on my promise. I have changed my mind.
- New York gubernatorial candidate Pierre Rinfret
We are launching this innovation for the first time.
- New York City Mayor Jimmy Walker
It's not a matter of life and death. It's more important than that.
- Lou Duva, on the upcoming fight of his protégé against boxer Mike Tyson
If you have intercourse you run the risk of dying and the ramifications of death are final.
- singer Cyndi Lauper, during an MTV interview
That picture was taken out of context.
- Jeff Innis, NY Mets pitcher, on a bad picture taken of him
I don't like to look back in retrospect.
- Vince Ferragamo, Los Angeles Rams quarterback
Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil...
- directions given on television's "The French Chef"
Gentlemen, I have nothing to say. Any questions?
- hockey player Phil Watson to reporters
And Helena got six inches during the night... Helena, Montana, that is!
- weatherperson on KHAR-TV, Alaska
Depositing the room key into another person is prohibited.
- sign displayed in a Japanese Hotel
I have lied in good faith.
- Bernard Tapie, French politician
The chairs in the cabin are for the ladies.
Gentlemen are not to make use of them till the ladies are seated.
- instructions posted in a river cruise ship; Suir River, Ireland
I feel like the oldest ovary-producing person in America.
- actress Susan Sarandon, mother of three children
You always write it's bombing, bombing, bombing. It's not bombing, it's air support.
- U.S. Air Force Colonel David Opfer, air attaché in Cambodia
You can't just let nature run wild.
- Wally Hickel, former governor of Alaska
Have we gone beyond the bounds of reasonable dishonesty?
- CIA memo, introduced during the Westmoreland/CBS libel suit
I really didn't say everything I said.
- Yogi Berra
Now ride off in all directions.
- Michael Curtiz, directing actor Gary Cooper on a horse
I am providing you with a copulation of answers to several questions raised.
- letter from Marion Barry Jr., mayor of Washington, D.C.
Last night I neglected to mention something that bears repeating.
- Ron Fairly, San Francisco Giants broadcaster
Lillian's greatest strength is her strength.
- David Coleman, BBC sportscaster
Ladies and gentleman, and now Mr. Eddie Playbody will pee for you.
- announcer, introducing banjoist Eddie Peabody
I was not aware that making up a story and lying to the police is against the law.
- Goran Rasmussen, Swedish tourist in Thailand
