Author Topic: More illogical and funny stuff.... (Read 5122 times)

Phoenix · « **on:** February 25, 2004, 03:17:20 pm »

This is another illogical thingy about god....

http://www.abarnett.demon.co.uk/atheism/rock.html

gryphon · « **Reply #1 on:** February 26, 2004, 01:23:32 am »

Personally think not just believers are being to fanatical in following the ideas from the Bible to litterlaly. . but non-believeres are taken things to literally inorder to claim the Bible fals. ...

God for one. . does not follow the rules of nature. . let one the rules of gravity. ..

Phoenix · « **Reply #2 on:** April 14, 2004, 11:13:42 am »

lol...
Link

and an other one...
Link2

Bako · « **Reply #3 on:** April 14, 2004, 12:31:31 pm »

oh gawd, this is just tooo mooooooooooooch ... LOL

Phoenix · « **Reply #4 on:** April 19, 2004, 06:05:32 pm »

Never knew you could make such a remix with windows sounds....
Link

Always wear your seatbelt..... see what happens if you dont... (not for children <12 y.o. )
Link

Bako · « **Reply #5 on:** April 19, 2004, 07:37:10 pm »

ah crap .... that dude was just stupid for doing that ... can't say I feel sorry for him ....

Phoenix · « **Reply #6 on:** April 21, 2004, 12:27:46 pm »

Sticky figures....

Hmzl.. even those thingies need porn....

;D

Link

Bako · « **Reply #7 on:** April 21, 2004, 01:27:35 pm »

ah man ... see ... I always knew that stick people were dirty little f&%$@rs .... LOL

Phoenix · « **Reply #8 on:** April 22, 2004, 10:18:14 pm »

Well got another funny thing...

Link

Another link

Phoenix · « **Reply #9 on:** April 23, 2004, 09:27:21 am »

I was always wondering the use of moronic signs...

Somewhere near Plato's retreat...

Should that are point upwards... maybe?!

You are going the wrong way!!!

Now that's so lewd.

Lovely. Just when you thought it was safe
to travel the nation's highways.

Will post some more soon... maybe this afternoon else next monday...

Bako · « **Reply #10 on:** April 23, 2004, 09:32:41 am »

yeah, those are just the best ... but have to say that this one is also one of my favs .....

Phoenix · « **Reply #11 on:** April 25, 2004, 10:47:46 pm »

OMG.. i wondered why our Prime Minister is acting strange..

link

Bako · « **Reply #12 on:** April 26, 2004, 09:39:55 am »

that sure does explain alot indeed .....

nampigai · « **Reply #13 on:** April 30, 2004, 02:35:10 pm »

not sure if you know this one, I think I saw it first on fed2k, not really sure thought...

go to google and type: WMD then hit the "I feel lucky" button.

gryphon · « **Reply #14 on:** May 01, 2004, 11:29:30 am »

hehe . I found this 404 page . .

http://www.coxar.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/

nampigai · « **Reply #15 on:** May 02, 2004, 03:26:31 pm »

http://www.retrocrush.com/babes/carrie/38.jpg

where do all you fav. SW char. go on spring brake?

stormsorter9 · « **Reply #16 on:** May 04, 2004, 09:29:48 pm »

look at this one http://www.funnyheck.com/chipgangsta.html

Phoenix · « **Reply #17 on:** May 06, 2004, 09:50:03 am »

Well i thought the chipmunkz were nice and kind

nampigai · « **Reply #18 on:** May 06, 2004, 02:06:49 pm »

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on
the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.

The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot
high and he sets him on the counter..

He reaches back into the bag and this time pulls out a small piano, setting
it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out
a tiny piano bench, which he placed in front of the piano.

The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful piece
by Mozart.

"Where on earth did you get that?" Says the bartender. The redneck
responded by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic
lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: "Here. Rub it."

So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke, then
a beautiful genie is standing before him. "I will grant you one wish. Just
onewish ... each person is only allowed one!"

The bartender got real excited. Without hesitating he said, "I want a
million bucks!".

A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed by
another duck, then another. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with
ducks and they kept coming.

The bartender turns to the man and says, "Y'know, I think your genie's a
little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."

"I know" says the man "do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?

Phoenix · « **Reply #19 on:** May 12, 2004, 10:54:25 pm »

13...13...13...13.....

;D Hilarious!!!

;D

BTW... subtitle is in dutch... but i think that speaks for it self..

nampigai · « **Reply #20 on:** May 19, 2004, 11:54:26 am »

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car
drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest
words. These instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even
incompetent writing may be highly entertaining.

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

I thought my windows was done but I found out it was up when I put my head
through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I
hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and
headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I
reached an intersection, a hedge sprange up, obscuring my vision and I did
not see the other car.

I had been driving for 40 years when I feel asleep at the wheel and had an
accident.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal
joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place
where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time
to avoid the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat, I found
that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the
road when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run so I ran over him.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentlemen as he bounced off the hood of
my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a
big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a
ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its
way when it struck my front end.

Q. What is your brother-in-law's name?
A. Borofkin.
Q. What's his first name?
A. I can't remember.
Q. He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first
name?
A. No. I tell you I'm too excited. (Rising from the witness chair and pointing
to Mr. Borofkin.) Nathan, for God's sake, tell them your first name!
--------
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?
A. No.
--------
Q. Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A. By death.
Q. And by whose death was it terminated?
--------
Q. Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A. No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
--------
Q. What is your name?
A. Ernestine McDowell.
Q. And what is your marital status?
A. Fair.
--------
Q. Are you married?
A. No, I'm divorced.
Q. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A. A lot of things I didn't know about.
--------
Q. And who is this person you are speaking of?
A. My ex-widow said it.
--------
Q. How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?
A. Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by Dr. Cherney,
and said he was really good.
--------
Q. Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
A. I will be three months November 8th.
Q. Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
A. Yes.
Q. What were you and your husband doing at that time?
--------
Q. Mrs. Smith, do you believe that you are emotionally unstable?
A. I should be.
Q. How many times have you comitted suicide?
A. Four times.
--------
Q. Doctor, how many autopsies have you peformed on dead people?
A. All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.
--------
Q. Were you aquainted with the deceased?
A. Yes, sir.
Q. Before or after he died?
--------
Q. Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?
A. Because he was argumentary and he couldn't pronunciate his words.
--------
Q. What happened then?
A. He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q. Did he kill you?
A. No.
--------
Q. Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?
A. No. This is how I dress when I go to work.
--------
THE COURT: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present
information
and prejudice from your minds, if you have any.
--------
Q. Did he pick the dog up by the ears?
A. No.
Q. What was he doing with the dog's ears?
A. Picking them up in the air.
Q. Where was the dog at this time?
A. Attached to the ears.
--------
Q. When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able,
for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also,
would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?
MR. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.
--------
Q. And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. O.K.? What school do
you go to?
A. Oral.
Q. How old are you?
A. Oral.
--------
Q. What is your relationship with the plaintiff?
A. She is my daughter.
Q. Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?
--------
Q. Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a
victim?
--------
Q. ...and what did he do then?
A. He came home, and next morning he was dead.
Q. So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?
--------
Q. Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?
A. He didn't offer me nothing; he just said I could have the furniture.
--------
Q. So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe
with respect to your scalp?
A. I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.
Q. It was covered?
A. Yes, bandaged.
Q. Then, later on.. what did you see?
A. I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top
of my head.
--------
Q. Could you see him from where you were standing?
A. I could see his head.
Q. And where was his head?
A. Just above his shoulders.
--------
Q. What can you tell us about he truthfulness and veracity of this
defendant?
A. Oh, she will tell the truth. She said she'd kill that sonofabitch - and
she did!
--------
Q. Do you drink when you're on duty?
A. I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.
--------
Q. ...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial
instead of an attempted murder trial?
A. The victim lived.
--------
Q. Are you sexually active?
A. No, I just lie there.
--------
Q. Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A. Yes, I have been since early childhood.
--------
Q. The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective
witness,
isn't it. You too were shot in the fracas?
A. No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.
--------
Q. What is the meaning of sperm being present?
A. It indicates intercourse.
Q. Male sperm?
A. That is the only kind I know.
--------
Q. (Showing man picture.) That's you?
A. Yes, sir.
Q. And you were present when the picture was taken, right?
--------
Q. Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

gryphon · « **Reply #21 on:** May 21, 2004, 09:07:33 am »

hehe. . those are great !

Phoenix · « **Reply #22 on:** May 24, 2004, 09:04:40 pm »

MUST READ!!!

Found on a Microsoft site...

LINK is currently out.... so see attachment....

(took screenie when i saw the site

)

Note: they provide courses secure programming...

RotteVis · « **Reply #23 on:** May 25, 2004, 08:16:51 pm »

this is why you won´t let your bitch to park your car...

link

Sardaukar Elite · « **Reply #24 on:** May 26, 2004, 01:48:59 am »

Holy crap thats crazy

......I cant see how that could happen....but dam guess it did....

Phoenix · « **Reply #25 on:** June 08, 2004, 08:25:34 pm »

Download the musicfile and sing along....

Song

Text

GigFlapping!

Packets dropping...
Console locking...
Boss is knocking...

GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again
and the router's in disarray
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again
Now I think it's time to RMA

GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again
and they're never going to be the same
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again
gotta find an SE to blame

Pinging with no reply
Pinging with no reply

You got your STM
over 1310
You got your SRP
which is DPT

You got your Sonet Rings connected via DPT
You got your OC3's to your ISP

Oh, fiber cut, ports are shut, man this sucks

GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again
and the router's in disarray
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again
Now I think it's time to RMA
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again
and they're never going to be the same
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again
gotta find an SE to blame

Pinging with no reply
Pinging with no reply
You got your Single Mode
you got your Multimode
you got your GBICs
and your new ASICs
You had a fiber cut and your service dipped
and it's all running through the same conduit
Oh, field notice, please help us, failed bus
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again
and the router's in disarray
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again
Now I think it's time to RMA
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again and they're never going to be the same
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again
gotta find an SE to blame
[PAUSE - Ad Lib sayings ]
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again (packets dropping)
and the router's in disarray (console locking)
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again (boss is knocking)
Now I think it's time to RMA
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again (pinging with no reply)
and they're never going to be the same (pinging with no reply)
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again (pinging with no reply)
damaging the passive backplane (pinging with no reply)
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again (packets dropping)
and the router's in disarray (console locking)
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again (boss is knocking)
Now I think it's time to RMA
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again (pinging with no reply)
and they're never going to be the same (pinging with no reply)
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again (pinging with no reply)
damaging the passive backplane (pinging with no reply)
...[FADE]

Bako · « **Reply #26 on:** June 09, 2004, 07:54:30 am »

oh man, this is just tooo much ..

Phoenix · « **Reply #27 on:** June 09, 2004, 12:56:55 pm »

an other funny pic...

http://clan.duk.kicks-ass.net/pics/novellvsnt.jpg

gryphon · « **Reply #28 on:** June 09, 2004, 01:23:32 pm »

nice to see those four are still running Win2k3. . and Jeroen is still the only one of them who knows anything about Novell I bet .. ..

I remember they had a official presentation ones . . and forgot to rename the DNS and domein stuff so all the screenshots they had showed clan.duk.kicks-ass instead of a more civilized domain name just beacause some one ( S ) made the screenshots from their own domain . . so they had documentation of he domain they created. . .with totally non-matching screenshots. ....

anyway. . picture should say it all .. . if you don't get it you can waith untill Hell freezes. ....

Phoenix · « **Reply #29 on:** June 24, 2004, 02:20:30 pm »

Funny File

Weird German persons....

News:

Author Topic: More illogical and funny stuff.... (Read 5122 times)

Phoenix

Phoenix

Phoenix

Phoenix

Phoenix

Phoenix

Phoenix

stormsorter9

Phoenix

Phoenix

Phoenix

RotteVis

Sardaukar Elite

Phoenix

Phoenix

Phoenix